A Wife's Guide to Surviving Dental School

In March of 2013, I wrote a post called "How to Thrive While Your Husband's In Dental School." It has gotten nearly 3000 views making it my most popular post by far! Three years later, with less than two months to go until Robbie graduates, I thought I would reflect on that post and see how my advice has held up. Let's dive right in!

Highlights from Semester 1, Year 2

Another semester down! Robbie is in the other room in his post-finals coma but, being the morning person I am, I couldn't sleep past 6:30 so the first thing I wanted to do was get a blog post written.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Robbie's semester just ended yesterday. It feels like he just started his second year maybe a month ago (though the -4 degrees F outside confirms to me it's not September). I have heard from numerous sources that the first semester of second year is supposed to be the hardest mostly because of the volume of classes. (Seriously. 27. Credit. Hours. When I told my best friend that she asked, "Isn't that illegal or something!?" haha)

Honestly, it went by so quickly that I didn't have much time to mope. It's sort of like that feeling of ripping off a band-aid, only this semester was a GIANT band-aid and now I'm just feeling a little dazed and thinking, "What just happened?" Not only did I go from staying at home to working 40+ hours a week, but it seems like there was something planned with friends or family almost every weekend. I made the hour drive up to Fort Collins more times than I can count.

Here are the highlights of what happened this semester.

1) BABETOBERFEST
We threw a fall-themed baby shower for my oldest sister, Altair. I really owe a lot to Pinterest for inspiring the food, decor, and activities. We served a baked-potato bar, bratwurst, and lots of little finger foods.

That is a red-velvet cream cheese ball. Thank you Pinterest. You have opened my eyes.

My sister, Deborah, being silly with the mommy-to-be, Altair.

You can't go wrong with mini pumpkin pies. They were fantastic!! Thanks again Pinterest!

I made pre-printed pages of the whole alphabet and each guest drew a picture with crayon.

Here is one that I made. You know you're a 90's kid if you know who this is.

2) RODIZIO GRILL DATE
Rodizio Grill is an amazing Brazilian restaurant where the servers walk around with huge skewers of all different kinds of meats and if you want some then they will carve chunks off onto your plate. I loved all the food but my favorite part was the fried plantains. It's normally way too expensive for us to go, but I snagged a deal on groupon that gave us half off.

Robbie loved the little thing used to signify to the waiters if you wanted more food. When it was on red, they knew to leave you alone. When it was on green, they knew to bring more food. I think he just liked the concept of having unlimited access to more food any time he wanted.

Enjoying some really nice wine.

3) CHAUNCEY CAME HOME
I seriously love squirrels but one squirrel in particular is my favorite. His name is Chauncey. He has big fluffy red ears and he's tame enough to take a nut from your hand. I hadn't seen him since last winter and I thought he had actually died but one magical Sunday morning, there he was outside our sliding glass door. I of course got really excited and opened the door right away to give him some walnuts.

You can see how excited I am and how unimpressed Riesy is.

After putting Riesy in the office, we opened the door and he came right in to get a nut.

Look how fluffy he is!!

And so plump!

4) OLIVE TIME
I got to spend lots of time with my niece, Olive. She was probably the main reason I made so many trips up from Denver this semester.

I love her dimples.

Stop it. Stop it right now.

 5) BABY LUKE WAS BORN
My oldest sister had her baby just a few days before Thanksgiving. We got to meet him the day after he was born but then Robbie and I both got colds so we haven't been able to spend much time with him yet. I can't wait to hold him some more once I'm better!

He was a big boy at over 8 lbs.

The proud papa

8) MY FRIENDS GOT ENGAGED
My friends, Dan and Chelsea, finally got engaged! He was smart enough to have his dad hide in full camouflage to take pictures. This makes my heart so happy.

7) WORKING AT THE DENTAL SCHOOL
What kept me most occupied this semester was working at the Dental School. I cannot say enough how much I love working there. The people are awesome, the work is interesting, and I get to have lunch almost every day with Robbie. You can't beat that!

Robbie saw his first patient. This was before the appointment.

I have no idea what any of this even means.

Exhausted and covered in dust from working in the lab for hours.

Placing teeth in a denture wax-up.

Me being cool with my awesome scanner in the Instrument Dispensary.

I am so thankful for all the wonderful experiences I had this semester. So many exciting things happened with my family. Praise God for bringing so many blessings into my life so I could cope with the stress of the last few months. He is so good!

Proverbs for the Aspiring Dentist

Who would've thought that going from stay-at-home wife to 40 hours a week at the school would leave me with so little time?! I'm not complaining--because I'm definitely loving my job--I just feel so bad that I have been barely getting in one blog post a week!

Snapped this on my phone today. You can see the lovely Dental supplies in the background.

Like I said, I am absolutely loving my job! My supervisor and I get along really well and she's incredibly knowledgeable about Dental materials so I have been learning a lot from her. I am also really beginning to see why Dental School is so expensive. The sheer volume of materials required is astronomical and those supplies carry a hefty price tag.

My main tasks throughout the day include checking out instruments to the students, stocking treatment rooms, and sterilizing small things like x-ray rinns (the instruments get sent down to the sterilization department). As I mentioned in my first post about my job, I love working with the Dental Students. I'm starting to learn a lot of their names and they always wave at me when I see them around campus.

In getting to know them a little better, however, I'm realizing that Dental School can only prepare the students so much for being Dentists. Having the head knowledge of how to do dental procedures is only half the battle. If they don't learn how to interact with and care for people--whether that's their patients, their peers, or their future staff--they will struggle as a Dentist. There are a few students who come off as demanding and unappreciative and I can almost guarantee that they will have a high turnover rate of staff in their office someday if they don't change their behavior soon.

I am constantly telling Robbie how important it will be for him to show appreciation to his employees down the road. My childhood Dentist has had the same assistant and hygienist in his practice for over 20 years while another Dentist I know can barely get an assistant to stick around for 2 years! I doubt there is much difference in pay/benefits between the two; however, my childhood Dentist is pleasant to be around and makes a clear effort to take care of his staff while the other Dentist is often cranky and fault-finding. Some of the benefits of having staff long-term include that you aren't wasting time/money constantly training new employees, your staff will get to know your patients and build rapport with them, and your staff will be more likely to grow together into a smoothly functioning team (making your office more efficient and harmonious).

One of the best resources for knowing how to interact with others in a wise and life giving way is the book of Proverbs. It has recommendations on all kinds of situations that could come up in a Dental practice. Here are just a few examples:

1) How should I respond when a patient loses their cool and starts cussing out my staff?

A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. -Prov. 15:1

 2) Is it okay for me to recommend a more expensive procedure to my patient so I can make a little more money, even though the less expensive option would work just as well for them?

Wealth obtained by fraud dwindles, but the one who gathers by labor increases it. -Prov. 13:11

The acquisition of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death. -Prov. 21:6

3) I have a patient here in horrible pain and desperate need of treatment but he has no way to pay me right now.

He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered. -Prov. 21:13

4) My wife feels I'm working too many hours. She says when I come home, I don't have enough energy to play with the kids. Working this many hours has enabled me to bring a lot of revenue into my practice though!

Don't wear yourself out to get rich; stop giving your attention to it. -Prov. 23:4

5) I really need to add another Dental Assistant to my staff because my office is growing, but the people who have applied don't seem like that great of a fit for the position. Still, isn't hiring someone better than not having anyone for the job?

The one who hires a fool or who hires those passing by is like an archer who wounds everyone. -Prov. 26:10

6) I overheard some of my staff gossiping about another Dentist. The conversation sounded really interesting and I want to join in to hear more details. As long as the Dentist doesn't know we're talking about her, what could it hurt?

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. -Prov. 20:19

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. -Prov. 16:28

7) My office manager just told me about a way we could bill the insurance to get more money by using a slightly different procedure code. We would be fudging the rules a little bit since it's not the exact procedure I did, but we would get payed more in the end.

Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel. -Prov. 20:17

Better a poor man who lives with integrity than a rich man who distorts right and wrong. -Prov. 28:6

A New Semester, a New Season

I know it's been two weeks since I last posted but it's been a slightly crazy two weeks so I don't feel too bad.

Some exciting news I have to share is that I got a job at the Dental School! I applied about two months ago and had basically assumed I wasn't going to be called back for an interview since I hadn't heard anything in so long. In the meantime, I was applying for a position at the Disney Store and was offered a job there. Before I could start at the Disney Store, however, I heard back from the school. After making it through the initial interview as well as a secondary, I was offered a position as a Dental Assistant in the Futures Clinic. It's brand new and had only been open for two weeks when I started.

My favorite part about my new job is that I love working with the Dental Students! Right now it's third and fourth years doing screenings (basic check-ups) on patients in the clinic so Robbie's class isn't in there yet, but we still get to have lunch together and go to/from school together. I've already gotten to know quite a few of the upper classmen and I can honestly say that Dental Students have the best personalities! You can tell that they are just loving what they're doing and a lot of them have great senses of humor. I will also admit that it's really entertaining to hear the staff's perspective on the students ("Just be patient with the Dental Students. They have a lot on their minds." etc).

For Robbie, the semester is moving ahead at full speed. In his Indirect Restoration class, they're working on crown preps and temporary crowns and in his Combined Removable Prosthodontics class, they're learning about the process of making Dentures.

We went into the lab one weekend so I could give him tips on making temporary crowns. (Finally, something I can help him with!)

The little purple mold is an impression of the tooth before it was prepped for the crown. You fill that little impression with temporary material and place it back on the tooth after it's been prepped and it gives you a temporary crown in the shape of the original tooth. Ingenious! The tooth on the counter is the temporary crown.

Here's his articulator with his denture wax-ups in place.

In other news, I've been getting to paint a lot lately! A couple weekends ago, I went to Altair's house to add Eeyore and Piglet to her baby room. I also offered to paint a mural at my friend Jeanette's church so I drove over there after work three days this week and painted for several hours. I'm really excited because Robbie and I have been looking for a church to call home ever since we moved and we are going to try going to this one on Sunday. 

The crib will go just below the characters.

Eeyore has always been my personal favorite. I even sleep with a stuffed Eeyore that I have had since elementary school! haha

They asked for the Denver skyline but since it's in a children's area, we made it colorful. :)

And now you know why I haven't written in a couple weeks! I definitely have to say that it has been a little bit of an adjustment going back to work after having not worked for a year. Over the past week, our apartment has gotten so messy because neither of us had the time/energy to tidy up much. We also ate out a lot more than we normally do because we didn't have time to go to the grocery store. Now that I'm done with the mural I will have a lot more time after work, but I still feel spoiled because I always went grocery shopping in the morning during the week instead of on the weekend when it's crowded. I'm sure we will find a good groove to get things done that we need to. I'm so grateful and excited for this job and even if that means our place is a little messier, we will survive just fine!

Hope you're all having a good start to the new school year!

Dental School Wife Club

I spent a good deal of time today searching for blogs about Dental School and being the wife of a Dental Student and was surprised at how few there really are! I found a couple that were from several years ago but they hadn't been written on in 2 or 3 years. I did come across a fun blog called Decorating Through Dental School written by the wife of a Dental Student, but it is focused more on home decor ideas on a budget and less about Dental School itself. I've also been reading an excellent blog called Diary of a Dental School Wife written by the wife of a soon-to-be Dental Student.

While it's not a blog, I did come across the website for the Alliance of the ADA and they happen to have a Student Spouse program (which I happened to join for $5 because I'm just that cool). Here's a description of the program:

As the spouse of an American Student Dental Association (ASDA) member, you are eligible for a Student Membership in the Alliance of the American Dental Association. Membership in the Alliance provides opportunities to interact with others who share common concerns and interests, as well as opportunities to participate in special conferences, workshops, and community programs related to dentistry and dental health.

I guess I'm just wishing there was more of a sense of community among Dental School wives. While I am in no way trying to say that having a husband in Dental School is anywhere close to the challenge and sacrifice of having a husband in the military, I am certainly jealous of the sense of camaraderie and support military wives have with one another. It's like an unspoken club where everyone just seems to understand each other a little better because of the shared experience.

I want to hear the stories of other Dental School wives. I want to hear what they have enjoyed, what they have hated, what have been their joys, what has made them cry, what they have learned, how they are growing, what has made them laugh. That's what I hope this blog will be-- a place for other wives to read about what I experience as Robbie goes through Dental School, to gain encouragement from it, and to share their stories as well.

1) WHAT I HAVE ENJOYED ABOUT DENTAL SCHOOL

I like the routine. I like the predictability of seeing his whole schedule for the semester and knowing what time we'll need to get up in the morning, what time he will likely get home each day, what time I should bring him lunch, when we can go on vacation, when he will be extra busy so I can plan accordingly, etc.

I have also enjoyed being a stay at home wife. Before we moved, I worked full time but now I have more time to do the things I really want to do like keeping my house in order, planning yummy meals, working out, doing crafts, writing a blog, etc.

2) WHAT I HAVE HATED ABOUT DENTAL SCHOOL

Not being able to help him more. In spite of the fact that I am trained as a Dental Assistant, Robbie has already surpassed me in his dental knowledge (by quite a bit!). As a Dental Assistant, I was focused on the task of assisting-- keeping the dentist's line of vision clear, handing him the next instrument, taking treatment notes, but I didn't pay as much attention to the techniques the dentist was using. I wish I could be more help when Robbie asks me what bur the dentist used for certain fillings or how the dentist used a specific instrument. It makes me feel helpless at times when he is confused about something and I have no way of helping him.

 3) WHAT HAS BROUGHT ME JOY

Knowing that I am making a huge difference by doing the simple day-to-day chores. I get so much joy from being able to have a hot meal ready for him when he comes home, that he doesn't have to stress about whether or not he has clean scrubs to wear, that he has more time to study and practice in the lab because he doesn't have to go to the grocery store or get the oil in the car changed. 

4) WHAT HAS MADE ME CRY

Praying for Robbie after he has had particularly rough days. Praying for him to have victory and to experience success but that his joy won't be determined by the grades he gets or how well he feels he did in lab. Visiting our church back home and missing the community we had there. The end of the first semester made me cry in relief not because it was awful, but because I finally knew that we would be able to do this.

5) WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

That I can be very selfish at times and that the purpose of marriage is not to make me happy, but rather to make me holy. Happiness is an awesome by-product of marriage (and believe me, I get a lot of happiness from my marriage), but the true purpose of marriage is to make me more like Jesus and to help my spouse be more like Jesus (which in the end leads to something much more permanent than regular old happiness-----it leads to joy).

6) HOW I AM GROWING

Before I met Robbie, God brought me to a place where I knew that even if I never got married, Jesus was enough. For the first two years of Robbie and I's marriage, I really desperately wanted to have children. But over the past year, God has been freeing me from that sense of desperation to be a mother and replaced it with a quiet confidence that even if I never have kids, Jesus is enough. So if I become a mother, that's wonderful. If I don't, I will still praise Him!

 "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Praise the name of Yahweh!" -Job 1:21

7) WHAT HAS MADE ME LAUGH

Finding fake teeth tumbling around in my dryer. Translating for Robbie when he pulls out all sorts of Dental jargon while telling his parents what he's learning in school. Corny Dental puns (see t-shirt below). How there always seems to be an episode in crime shows where the Dentist is the murderer. Steve Martin singing the Dentist Song in Little Shop of Horrors.

If you're a Dental School wife, please share your experiences in the comments!

The Hardest Part (For Me) of Applying to Dental School

Around the time that Robbie took the D.A.T., I made a huge decision to stop pursuing my degree in Spanish and to go to Dental Assisting school. We both knew that having a wife in the dental field would be an excellent discussion point for interviews (which it was but I'll write about that some other time). I had been miserable for most of my undergraduate education and I had no use for a Spanish degree (other than to just say, "I have a degree! Hooray for me!"). Dental Assisting school really appealed to me because it was much more hands on learning (versus abstract theory taught in most universities) and I am very much a "side-kick" type personality. I thrive in positions where I am not the one in charge but I am there to make things more efficient.

We spent a lot of time agonizing over this decision because we thought my dad would be really upset if I didn't complete an undergraduate degree. Let me be more honest here... I was completely terrified because I knew my dad would be absolutely livid. He has very strong opinions about how things are supposed to be done (ie. everyone MUST go to college and get a degree that will make money, etc) and I am not the personality type that likes to rock the boat. We spent several weeks praying about it before approaching my dad to tell him our plan.

The most difficult thought I kept wrestling with was that I knew God wanted me to honor my dad but that He also was leading me to pursue Dental Assisting. I knew that only God could make a way for both to happen. During those weeks of prayer, God continuously brought one verse to my mind that was an incredible comfort.

"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name." -Isaiah 45:2-3

Let me say here that, in my eyes, approaching my dad about this subject did not just seem like it would be a "rough place" or a "door of bronze." It felt like the freaking Red Sea needed to be parted because Pharaoh and his army were baring down on my position and were about to cut me to pieces. Robbie and I finally went to my parents' house for dinner (I had knots in my stomach the whole time). Once dinner was over we decided it was time to drop the bomb... I braced myself for the explosion... and it never came! While my dad was still hesitant about me stopping my undergraduate degree, he could at least see the logic in me pursuing Dental Assisting to help Robbie become a Dentist.

The conversation ended with him asking us, "So what do you need from me?" (I think he was expecting us to ask him for money to help pay for the Dental Assisting tuition) to which Robbie responded, "Nothing, we just wanted to let you know what was going on and where we were headed." How I love my husband! That single statement was the shining moment of the evening. Not only did my dad understand our decision, but he now felt honored in the way he had been treated.

God had gone ahead of us and made a way where it didn't seem possible. On top of that, God really did bring "hidden wealth" from the situation. The whole conversation became a defining point in my life. It solidified (in my mind and my dad's mind) Robbie's authority as my husband and brought incredible healing to my relationship with my dad. 

Thank you LORD that you call me by name and that you made a way through the hardest part (for me) of applying to Dental School.