A Wife's Guide to Surviving Dental School

In March of 2013, I wrote a post called "How to Thrive While Your Husband's In Dental School." It has gotten nearly 3000 views making it my most popular post by far! Three years later, with less than two months to go until Robbie graduates, I thought I would reflect on that post and see how my advice has held up. Let's dive right in!



THE ORIGINAL ADVICE

1. Choose to be flexible instead of rigid
2. Choose to actively participate in his world sometimes
3. Choose to actively build a support network
4. Choose to be a refreshing person to be around

WHAT WOULD I ADD?



1) Put a lot of thought in before making big life changes 

We chose to buy our first home as well as have a baby during the course of Dental School. If you are a go-with-the-flow type of person, this probably wouldn't be as hard for you. But if you're like me and you need stability (and 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep) to function well, approach any big life changes during Dental School with caution.

In front of our little house the day we closed on it!

 Owning a home and becoming parents have both turned out to be such huge blessings and I wouldn't change the course we took for the world. I do, however, wish I had been a little more mature and a little more mentally prepared before we made these two big leaps. I also wish we had communicated better with our support network beforehand as I made the assumption that I would have more help from family than what actually was available.

 I know plenty of other families in Dental School who had kids and guess what? They still got through it just fine. What I'm trying to say is that Dental School requires a lot from a person. It is well worth the time to carefully weigh out your options before deciding to add more to an already full plate.

2) Stop the comparison game. Seriously. STOP.

This advice is geared a little more toward the Dental Student, but as their spouse take every opportunity to remind them. Nothing can kill confidence quicker than comparing yourself to others. Dental School is hard enough without beating yourself up over the supposed successes of your classmates. Plus everyone has a bad day in clinic at some point; you may just not have been around to see it.

Who is getting the best grades? Who has completed the most requirements in the shortest amount of time? Who finishes first during practicals? Ultimately, IT DOESN'T MATTER! As long as you are putting in your best effort, comparing yourself to others will only hurt you. The only person they should be competing with is his/herself. If they seek to become a better dental care provider than they were the day before, that is all the competition they need.

Instead of playing the comparison game, look for ways to remark on improvements your student has made. "Remember when it was SO hard for you to wax up teeth? And now you can do it in no time!" If you aren't sure how they are improving try asking them to tell you about something they have learned or something that has gotten easier as time went on.

This was one of my go-to pictures when he would question if his skills were improving. It's his very first lab project--fill the shapes with wax to a certain thickness. I ask him how hard this was when he first did it and how long it would take him to do it now.

3) Help them remember all the work they've put in and celebrate their successes

This one is both easy and fun! Take pictures of them studying, doing lab work, wearing their scrubs, getting their white coat, or whatever! When they finish a big exam, grab a coffee together or make them a yummy meal to celebrate. Dental School rarely offers opportunities to stop and take a breath so make the most of those opportunities. We did our best to live frugally during the semester so that we could take little trips or get massages as a special treat during the breaks.

First day of school

Studying for Part I of the National Boards

Passing Part I of the National Boards

The White Coat Ceremony

Working on that creepy dummy head

Nitrous Lab

Assisting him on his Clinical Boards Exam

4) If the opportunity arises, work at the Dental School

I realize this won't work for everyone, but for us, the very best experiences we had in Dental School rose out of me working at the school. I was able to get a job as a Dental Assistant during Robbie's 2nd and 3rd year and it gave me a whole new appreciation for what he was going through. In addition to that, several of his classmates and professors became dear friends! Depending on the school, you may even find that you can get your student some free credits (anything to help that student debt load, right?). Plus it gives your student easier access to a volunteer for practicing injections.

Seriously, doesn't this look like fun!?

Hanging out with my favorite Dentist friends at the school a few days before going into labor

Being a Dental Assistant isn't the only way to work at a Dental School, either. There are also administrative, bookkeeping, scheduling, sterilization, hygiene, maintenance/repair positions and more. Check your schools website for career opportunities.

At the same time I was interviewing at the Dental School I was offered a job at the Disney Store. Taking the Dental School position was a hard decision at the time but looking back now I would choose the school again in a heartbeat. That's how great of an experience it was people. It was better than Disney!

 So there you have it--my final advice for How to Thrive While Your Husband's in Dental School. 44 days to graduation!!! Let's do this!