Successful Motherhood

There are so many different requirements pushed on moms these days of what it means to be a successful mother. A lot of it is based on what our society values but even within a single society there are sub-cultures that value completely different things. Depending on who you talk to, being a successful mother may mean...

• Your child gets the best education
• Your child only eats organic foods (or gluten-free foods or GMO-free foods or foods purchased locally, etc)
• You can maintain a successful career outside the home
• Your child excels in sports
• You are there for their every need 100% of the time
• Your child thinks you're cool and calls you her best friend
• Your child is a law abiding citizen who breaks out in a rash if they even think about breaking a rule
• Your child is a free thinker who isn't bound by the rules of society
• You can run a marathon 2 months after giving birth
• Your child grows up to earn a Nobel Prize in physics
• Your child is a prodigy violin/piano/chess/trumpet/guitar/etc player
• Your child chooses a "good" career when they grow up
• Your child is popular in school
• Your child grows up in a stable home

Do any of these strike a chord with you? I know for certain that some of them will NEVER happen in my family (ie. me running a marathon), some of them MAY happen (ie. my child excelling in sports--their dad was a Decathlete after all), and I will try very hard to make the last one happen.

As each day brings me closer and closer to becoming a mom, I find myself wondering what will define success for me. What do I value most and desire to provide for my child above anything else?

In meditating on this question, I realized that I would personally sum up successful motherhood with this one sentence.

She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue. -Proverbs 31:26

Wisdom is much more than just being an intelligent person. In fact, I believe that there are many people who could be considered some of the smartest in the world but they completely lack wisdom. At the same time, there are some who have never had a formal education and may not even be able to read, yet they embody true wisdom.

The dictionary defines wisdom as "the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement." I would take it a step further and say that it is the act of actually applying that experience, knowledge, and good judgement. I may know the right thing to do or say in a given situation, but if I don't act on that knowledge then I am being unwise.

In Proverbs 31:26, the Hebrew word translated as 'kindness' is chesed and it is one of my favorite words on the planet! The dictionary defines kindness as "the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate" but chesed is even better than that.

Chesed is frequently spoken of in the Bible as one of God's attributes. English translations use the words grace, mercy, compassion, loving-kindness, steadfast love, and covenant love to help us grasp the concept.

So whether my child is popular or not, whether they like sports or computers or painting or none of the above, whether or not I am able to stay in excellent shape or retire from a successful career, I won't consider myself a success or a failure.

Instead, I will consider myself a successful mother when I draw upon God's wisdom to guide my child and when my own life displays and points to the incredible covenant-love of Jesus.