The First 6 Months of Mommyhood

We've officially survived the first six months of parenthood! I'm not going to lie, guys; it was really rough! I can without hesitation say that lack of sleep makes me a different person. Months 4 and 5 were especially difficult as I was dealing with post-partum depression and I'm just now finally starting to feel like I'm coming out of that dark hole.

QUICK SIDE NOTE: I just want to recognize that every single woman's experience of motherhood is unique. While I would never even begin to claim that my experience was as hard as it could've been, it was incredibly hard for me personally. I totally recognize that other moms out there have it way more difficult whether they are single mothers, have a sick baby, are lacking a support network, are struggling financially, have a baby with colic, etc. If you feel you had it harder than me, please don't judge me for finding my own experience hard. End of side note.

Here's a basic breakdown of what each month looked like:

1st Month: Tiny creature with really wacked out sleep schedule. Painful breastfeeding. Recovering from birth. Lots of crying (me more than her). She's only awake for 30 minute stretches most of the time so why do I still feel like I'm not getting any sleep?

2nd Month: We discovered that she loves the Swaddle Me velcro swaddler. Where has this been all my life?! Combine that with a running water sound machine and she is actually sleeping at night now. Still lots of crying on my part.

3rd Month: This month was actually pretty good. She started smiling and interacting a little more. Breastfeeding finally no longer hurt. She got into a really good sleep routine (bedtime at 6:00 pm then wake up to feed every 3-3.5 hours).

4th Month: Majority of this month was spent with family up in Fort Collins. Baby and I got sick twice. One of which was a nasty sinus infection and tonsillitis for me with a fever that would not come down. And apparently babies don't sleep when they are sick. I thought I was going to die. I feel like I cried every day.

5th Month: Jubilee started teething later on this month which led to extremely poor nighttime sleep. I know a lot of people feel the newborn stage is the hardest, but for me this was the hardest period. I finally admitted to Robbie (and to myself) that I was experiencing PPD. It's really strange how hormones can cause such mixed emotions. I would look at Jubilee and feel like there was nothing more incredible and beautiful while at the same time feel such a lonely sadness inside myself. I recognized that I had been isolating myself a lot so I went to the Dental School almost every day to have lunch with Robbie and visit friends.

6th Month: Things have been slowly improving the last couple weeks. Being disciplined about going to bed around 7:30 or 8:00 ensures that I get a better amount of sleep over the course of the night before her final wake-up (between 5:30-6:30). She has settled into a really good schedule during the day by taking a 45 minute nap at 9:00, 12:30, and 4:00. She's getting really close to being able to crawl now and we gave her her very first food (avocado) about two weeks ago. She has since tried banana, sweet potato, and pears. Sweet potato and avocado have been her favorites so far. Items I plan to introduce in the coming weeks include: zucchini, oats, and egg yolk!

I am in shock that 6 months has gone by already! I am daily amazed at how she has changed so much in just half a year and it's so strange to remember what it was like before she came along. As difficult as this period has been for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything. What an honor it is to be the mother of this precious little soul!

Had some Christmas photos taken at Target the other day!

 A few weeks ago when I really felt like I was struggling, I was reading and God gave me a verse to cling to. Psalm 57:1 says, "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by." Praise Him for seeing me through every season of my life! He truly is the perfect refuge!